Motion Strong Solid

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A few items from Amazon
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Degree Clinical Protection, Men's Anti-perspirant and Deodorant, 1.7-Ounce Stick (Pack of 2) ... |
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Kicker 07DS400 4-Inch 100mm Coax Speakers (Pair) $29.95 Amazon.com Product Description Great sounding, easy-to-install midrange and highs make all the difference in your audio system. DS-Series Coaxial Speakers and 3-Way System provide the cost-effective ammo to keep up with your bass upgrade. DS-Series Coaxial Speakers provide the cost-effective ammo to keep up with your bass upgrade. A breeze to install. Click to enlarge. Polypropylene c... |
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Kicker 07DS6930 DS-Series 6-Inch x 9-Inch 152mm X 229mm 3-Way Speaker (Pair) $56.99 Amazon.com Product Description Great sounding, easy-to-install midrange and highs make all the difference in your audio system. DS-Series Coaxial Speakers and 3-Way System provide the cost-effective ammo to keep up with your bass upgrade. DS-Series Coaxial Speakers provide the cost-effective ammo to keep up with your bass upgrade. Click to enlarge. DS Speakers are the best value for serious,... |
What do you think of these few verses?
I was wondering if you could maybe comment or give me constructive criticism on these few verses? Thank you
Beautiful swan was a prodigy dancer
With pale ribbons twined to her wrists and feet
Rouge permanently spread across her baby cheeks
Dresses made of silk too luxurious to keep
Fragile moves, strong emotions
Shoes and ribbons straighten the motion
Up they say, down you go
As ache strikes and reaches your bleeding toes
Don't worry, angel, you'll get out some day
As soon as you cross your so dreaded lake
The marble floor, slippery and sleek
Swims underneath your angelic streaks
Arabesques and grand jetés, choreographed in a majestic sway
Didn't compare to your greatest day
When they applauded your delicate landing on solid runway
I don't like the emotion-motion thing. It doesn't flow that good to me. I love the "Up they say & down you go, as ache strikes and reaches your bleeding toes".
It's pretty good(:
Mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AptbCz7izTUzc6EW4y5QHkHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20110121163114AA5X9j6
